| Knowing. |
[Oct. 26th, 2011|10:31 pm] |
Knowing what to do at the right time is very important.
But right now, i'm helpless, i don't know what more i can do.
I keep repeating myself, that i didn't got upset because of a difference in views.
It really really isn't. I can't emphasize more.
Well, the last time i checked, it seemed to be going well. Was a happy girl for the entire day.
Yes yes, just because you spoke to me.
I couldn't deny that i was genuinely surprised, but it was a pleasant one.
But it didn't last for long. I began thinking again.
God, i really think i think too much. This thought popped into me, what if you're just being nice because we still need to do work together. What if, after work had ended you'd go back to 'misunderstanding' stage.
All this thoughts robbed some of the happy feeling i had. But i decided i shall not let the happy feeling be stolen.
That memory, would be one that i'll hang on, whenever i'd feel like giving up.
Now, for some normality's sake.
I decided to meet up with Chingz yesterday, have our over due Starbucks date.
Since its Deepvali today.
Chingz made me feel like, maybe i haven't grown up enough. I think i grew up, but after talking to her, i felt, maybe not enough.
Our talk, no longer have much of those light hearted experiences, those jokes that we used to had.
It was fun, recalling how early we went to VJ together, and had breakfast at 8am in Marine Parade.
I realised, alot has changed along the course of this year.
But one thing that hasn't change, the presence of a friend.
Before meeting up with her, i was afraid that it'll be awkward.
But surprisingly it didn't. And honestly, i didn't know Chingz for a very long time. But, she is probably one of the few friends i can talk comfortably with. That's affinity i guess.
It's amazing whenever i think of her, how we met, how we started off from joking during Reading Sessions, to friends close enough to be going to crazy place at 6am in the morning. Then have such talks at Starbucks.
Its as if that in this whole year that we weren't able to meet up, we weren't drifting away. We were simply accumulating the things that we would say to each other once we have to chance to.
Okay, maybe Starbucks for Chingz wasn't all for normality. I needed a friend.
Like i said in previous post, Dummy is way to busy for me.
Chingz made time for me, which i cannot express how grateful i am.
We talked about how we grew, how she survived this year.
Then i went on to say how much fun i had this year, so much fun that i screwed up my academics.
Most importantly, we agreed that NJ is filled with good people.
Including ourselves of course :D
I hope my amazing life at NJ would come back. Sans the playing too much and sucking in academics part.
I want to be able to strike a balance between work and play.
Plus all the amazing people around me, no one can be left out. Without any one of them, it'll be like a puzzle that can never be completed. Cliche? But its true.
Now, perhaps its time for me to return to my OP.
This amazing idea i had. I hope people can agree with me.
Meaning, that they'd feel its a good way to present. And that it wouldn't feel too boring. Hee. |
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cerchero's journal
angry
grateful
depressed